Can I short Tesla yet?
An oracle for the trade that refuses to die.
No
The bears were right about everything except the stock price.
Every ask is an independent draw. The oracle says Yes with 1-in-10,000 odds — a probability it considers generous.
Exhibit A: fourteen years of pain
The numbers behind the chart
| Year | Close |
|---|---|
| 2010 | $1.78 |
| 2011 | $1.90 |
| 2012 | $2.26 |
| 2013 | $10.03 |
| 2014 | $14.83 |
| 2015 | $16.00 |
| 2016 | $14.25 |
| 2017 | $20.76 |
| 2018 | $22.19 |
| 2019 | $27.89 |
| 2020 | $235.22 |
| 2021 | $352.26 |
| 2022 | $123.18 |
| 2023 | $248.48 |
| 2024 | $403.84 |
Frequently asked questions
- What is this?
- A one-page satirical oracle. You ask whether it’s finally time to short Tesla; it answers with a random draw that is almost always a giant red No, garnished with a one-liner about the money incinerated betting against TSLA.
- Why does it (almost) always say No?
- Because that’s the joke. Shorting Tesla has been declared “obvious” every year since 2013, and the chart above shows how that went. The oracle honors tradition: 9,999 times out of 10,000, No.
- Has anyone ever gotten a Yes?
- Statistically, someone has. It changes nothing — a Yes from this page carries exactly as much authority as the No.
- Is the chart live?
- No. It’s a static snapshot of approximate split-adjusted year-end closes bundled with the site, so the page works offline with no trackers, no API keys, and no third-party scripts. For a real quote, ask your broker — they’d love to hear from you.
- Is this financial advice?
- Absolutely not. It is a random number generator wearing a tie. Nothing on this page is investment advice, a recommendation, or a prediction. Do not trade based on a novelty website.